IMMA TALK ABOUT IT
So, how do we navigate a fast-paced, consumer-centric world, post-pandemic without negatively impacting others and really start showing up for each other? Let's talk about it!
Tune in & we'll have an honest conversation about how to finally break generational cycles, live a mystically empowered lifestyle from an ethical and aligned place of sovereignty, advocate for ourselves and social movements, and how we can leverage these tools to make a positive impact on the world!
IMMA TALK ABOUT IT
3.9 Releasing Self-Sabotage
In this episode, we dive into the common yet often overlooked patterns of self-sabotage, including avoidant behavior, catastrophizing, and resisting self-care. Join me, Alisha E leads a transformative discussion on how to recognize and confront these self-sabotaging tendencies. Through a guided exercise, you'll learn how to acknowledge your true desires, assess your actions, and develop a stronger intuition. By the end of this episode, you'll gain clarity on your priorities and be equipped with practical steps to break free from negative cycles. Join us on this journey to healing self-sabotage and manifesting positive outcomes in your life.
Welcome to. I'ma Talk About it. I'm Alicia E, empowerment coach and ancestral healer, and I'm here to teach you how to break generational cycles, self-advocate and ascend to happiness without the guilt of wanting a better life for yourself. You don't have to choose the same path as those before you. You can choose a better way, your way, because if we can each heal ourselves today, we can heal the world tomorrow together.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello everyone. I am so excited to be back with you and I'm just really excited that I am going to be sharing a podcast episode with you every single week, and we're just going to get the party started, and many of you who are on my TikTok page know that I manifested an amazing VA who has allowed me the space to be able to create more and more for you in terms of resources and to really help you manifest the business and opportunities that you're wanting to call into your life. If you saw any of my recent posts, you know that right now is a very crucial time, and so everything that we do as a collective, as a community, is super important to get us to a place that is equitable for everybody. And I'm having lots of thoughts, but I wanted to talk about something very important today because it comes up all the time on everybody's journey. Even if you're not an entrepreneur, we all have some time or another dealt with self-sabotage. So today, this episode is called Releasing Self-Sabotage A Fool's Journey, and I also wanted to incorporate tarot because I love tarot, so you're going to have a full season of tarot references, along with healing, because the tarot tells the journey of you starting in one place and ending in another and completing a full cycle and breaking cycles and elevating. I thought it was really cool to implement it into the podcast.
Speaker 2:Today we're going to talk about three main things when it comes to self-sabotage. So by the time you're done with this, you're going to know how to recognize self-sabotage. You're going to know how to recognize self-sabotage even when it masquerades as something else. So I like to call that the tricky self-sabotage or the sneaky little poo face Self-sabotage or the sneaky little poo face self-sabotage whatever you want to call it, the one that's a lot harder to spot. Other people might be able to spot it, but not everyone. Those ones are the hardest ones to heal because they're really hard to even tell that they exist right. They're not as obvious as some other traits or habits or routines that you may have that may be getting in the way of your manifestations.
Speaker 2:And then the last one we are going to talk about healing self-sabotage. So, to begin with, recognizing self-sabotage, I really want you to think about it, as it's really preventing yourself from experiencing the things in your life that you desire to experience. So you get in your own way, you create your own hurdles and you prevent yourself from bringing your manifestations, for example, to fruition, right? So the only thing standing between you and that life you desire is you, my friend, and this can really apply to any aspect of your life. So it could be working out. It can be just having a new beginning, starting over, starting fresh, like New Year's and things like that Welcoming new love into your life. It could be having a better relationship with your financial fluency and creating opportunities for yourself. So self-sabotage can show up in any sector of your life. It does not discriminate. So do not cuckold it into. You know, trying to get to the gym. No, self-sabotage is in everything that we do. No, self-sabotage is in everything that we do, and it can take time to heal it. But once you can recognize it, you can really take it to another level in terms of using tools to help you remove it from your own life and break those generational cycles.
Speaker 2:So next I want to talk about when self-sabotage masquerades. So a lot of the time, self-sabotage likes to masquerade as avoidant behavior. This is going to be one of the most obvious right? Like, let's say, you have a friend who wanted to go to the gym with you, but every time you bring it up, they completely avoid it. Right, like that's just avoidant behavior, even for yourself. Maybe you know that you are trying to create this new project, maybe you want to be a performer, but you're not doing your training, you're not creating your profiles, you're not taking photos, or you know having things prepared, so when you are presented the opportunity to perform, you have everything together. Right, this is avoidant behavior. Another one is, which is kind of an interesting one.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell you a story about someone who I was working with in the past. It's really about invoking your own downward spiral, and a lot of people don't think they do this, but they actually do it more than they think. So I had a client in the past who really cared about what other people thought, and so they worked really hard to ensure that people approved of their behavior. They made sure they showed up at work, they took on extra projects, and when it came time to a particular evaluation, it was almost like they were doing this thing that I like to say you hype yourself up for failure Rather than hyping yourself up for success. You hype yourself up for failure, right, Like this is also a cultural thing.
Speaker 2:People do this in society a lot Like they plan for the worst so that they don't have to experience a lot of pain, instead of just planning for the best and manifesting the best and feeling successful. It became almost a week of being like an oracle who was not so great at predictions, like it wasn't based on anything aside from, you know, past traumas, which is actually real. But they weren't giving themselves the opportunity to receive good news, nor were they doing anything to help them prepare to make the situation better or to just be available in a higher frequency. So that is a way that self-sabotage can really masquerade. And so if you find yourself I'm blanking on the phrase for it, but catastrophizing your life, where you know you're really heading into this huge catastrophe and there's no way you're going to be out of it, you got to start planning blah, blah, blah, and then it lasts for days or it goes into weeks, and then, before you know it, it's three or four months later and you still haven't moved. You still haven't left your job. It's three years later and you still haven't moved. You still haven't left your job. It's three years later and you still haven't left your job. You're still with the same partner. It becomes a bigger cycle and begins to show up outside of your work and really affects your mental health. So you've basically trapped yourself in your own suffering and you perpetuate it over and over and over and over and over again. And it's a little bit harder to see, especially when it comes to work, because of how our society views work, culture and even relationships and money, to be honest, like there is a sense of everybody has to suffer in order to get far in life, and so you end up believing that you don't have a choice right, like you just have to accept the consequences for whatever's going to happen next, instead of taking the time to prepare yourself for a really good outcome and ensuring that you can communicate clearly. You have a plan for the meeting. If you want to ask for help, you can write it down, you know. Make sure your thoughts are clear, like there's many ways that you can shift into preventative energy or positive manifestation energy, rather than having your downward spiral right.
Speaker 2:So another one is which I see with someone who runs in my circle they never mind me sharing their stories. Um, it's resistant to taking care of yourself and then acting like um, everything is in these horrible conditions and you don't know why, right? So this can really look like not eating and then having a headache, and then being cranky and then saying you're consistently tired but really you're not taking care of yourself. But you're too far into your trauma to really take a bird's eye view and realize that maybe you, you provoked that cycle to begin over and over and over again. Um, so it becomes like a cyclical behavior and something that was going on that I noticed.
Speaker 2:Depending on you know, location and things like that, it was very much so they would get a trigger and then, you know, their way of dealing with the trigger was to control the things that they thought they could control, which they didn't know they were trying to do that, but that's what they were doing. So it meant not eating, and they weren't eating because they weren't exercising and moving their body to help their energy, so they didn't feel as hungry, and then they would eventually starve themselves and just say that they were really busy, but they weren't as busy, and so it turned into this long physical suffering of the body, along with mental and spiritual suffering, that they would get caught in over and over and over and over again, instead of slowing down and noticing like, hey, I have a headache, oh, I might be doing this again, like I might not be eating again, I might be self-sabotaging myself so that I don't actually have the energy to show up in the community, right? So an easy way that you can begin to heal self-sabotage and I'm being just really straightforward, we're going to be going into self-sabotage more in depth in my upcoming program. So another way that, or one of the easiest ways for you to heal self-sabotage or begin to look at self-sabotage in your own life, is to write down and be really clear about your desires, and you can, you know, put it into sections. It can be relationships, money, um, career. You know you can put like purpose or whatever you want to put for your categories of your life. You can put those on a piece of paper and then under it. I want you to write like what you truly desire, right, if you have under your love category to manifest the partner of your dreams, or partners of your dreams, or a community that you feel safe in, or, you know, loving relationships, like whatever it may be, write it down and be as specific as possible.
Speaker 2:And then the next thing you wanna do is ask yourself a very simple question Am I taking any actions to move towards this desire, yes or no? I want you to keep it as simple as that, because if you try and write down an entire paragraph about whether or not you are taking action and you're already filled with anxiety and self-sabotage, it's going to be very difficult for you to answer the question. So just am I taking any action towards my desire? Yes or no? Right, and you can write yes or no under each category, and if the answer is yes, and you know what a yes really looks like, is say you are that performer.
Speaker 2:Did I do like my stretches today? Yes or no? Did I do my singing routine today? Yes or no? Did I create a profile? Yes or no? Right? Like, there are things that you can do to move your energy towards your dreams, right? Um, if I want to make more money, am I being visible on social media because I'm a small business, or am I doing calls to action? Am I inviting people into space? X, y and Z? Yes or no? Am I communicating with people that I have something to offer them that they need to know about? Yes or no? Do I want to work out, or have I been working out today or moving my body in whatever such way. If that is one of your goals, right, yes or no?
Speaker 2:So again, keep it really simple and under your yes or no, you can then go into why. So, yes or no, you can then go into why, right, like, why yes and why no, or one or the other. So if you have a dream to be a performer and you are not doing any of your exercises, why is that? And I want you to be really honest, like be as unbiased as possible, and I don't want you to write down I'm tired or like I don't know. I don't know, maybes anything vague. All my clients know this. Anything vague is not allowed, not allowed to say I don't know, because when you say I don't know, you keep yourself in a cycle. So we really practice on being as direct as possible, even if it takes time for you to get a full answer, using as many adjectives or feelings or things that can describe what's going on other than something vague like I don't know, is going to be a lot more helpful for you and also help develop your intuition. So why is it that you're not doing these things that you want to do? Do you feel fear about it? Do you feel like you don't have enough time? Is it true that you don't have enough time? Are you nervous that it might go well? Are you filling your days with other things that just don't matter? Right? So keep it as simple as possible.
Speaker 2:And before we close, I just want to share this little story, because I was working with someone recently outside at a park and you know I had tapped into their energy and was getting messages from their ancestors about needing to move forward. But there was a block around having fun, receiving fun, allowing their inner child to come out right, receiving anything good was hard for them to do, and there was an exercise around. You know, spirit had said take them to a soccer field, whatever you know. So we go to the soccer field and we were talking about how they loved playing sports, but they weren't playing sports, like they didn't have any sports stuff with them. They would sometimes talk about it, but they avoided it. Avoided it because it was really hard for them to face. Avoided it because it was really hard for them to face. And so then one of the exercises that we did was to play invisible soccer, to see right, to see what was really going to come up and just was very, very triggering and gave a lot of intel, I would say, or revealed a lot about what they were experiencing.
Speaker 2:There was the shame of people thinking they were stupid. There was the fear of doing something stupid, being resistant to having fun, even though their inner child wanted to do it. There was the shame of shaming themselves and their inner child, even though they know they would never shame a child like that. And then there was the energy that was stuck in their body, their physical body, that kept them from physically moving because they're they were terrified and resistant to change, like their physical body had been self-sabotaging so much that it no longer wanted to move, that it no longer wanted to move. And this is why it's so important to pay attention to what your mind, body and spirit are doing, because your physical body, if your trauma goes far enough, which most people does, will begin to restrict you from doing things that are good for you or experiencing things that are fun for you, or experiencing things that are fun for you or healthy for you, and it becomes like a freeze almost, but with anger and frustration, because right below that is pain and mixed emotions and things that they've heard from growing up and feeling inadequate and holding on to something that feels familiar but they don't really hold on to.
Speaker 2:And so we stood there for quite a bit of time talking it through, really reflecting on the resistance to receiving, and immediately there was like a breakthrough, after we had gotten to a really beautiful level of are you ready to release that self-sabotage right, like that is a huge part of healing self-sabotage is. Are you ready to fully let it go? Just like you know other emotions, like fear and sadness and anger. Are you ready, are you ready to experience something new that maybe you've never experienced before? Like maybe you've never experienced freedom and ease and joy and still had financial stability or still had a community, or you know, like all of this is new. So in order for your body and your mind and your spirit to receive it, you have to be ready to receive it. You have to say that you are ready. You have to energetically say that you are ready, that you are ready. You have to energetically say that you are ready, and when we did that, there was a big release, a lot of tears, a lot of panicking and one of the best things that you can do is if you are able to move your body. So I am.
Speaker 2:I'm also a yoga instructor and I do other breath and movement, and so I immediately started to help them move their body in a really gentle way, and you could see you could physically see their body shaking, you could physically see their body fighting it, you could physically see the tears coming out, but them wanting to move forward, and it was in that moment that you could really notice how deep self-sabotage goes Like. Self-sabotage is generational because it's taught for survival, because of colonialism. And it was so deep in their body that their DNA was like no, this is wrong. I can't let go of my self-sabotage, I'll die. Right, that's literally what their body was telling them.
Speaker 2:And as we were doing these stretches and these movements and these flow and being with the sun and allowing whatever needed to come out of their mouth to come out, which you know there was a moment of frustration, of yelling of why can I do this? Why am I feeling this? Can I do this? Why am I feeling this? Why isn't my body moving and us holding space and allowing that to come forward and continuing to breathe and being like it's okay, let it come forward Like you can do this one more breath, reach one more time, blink one more time, blink one more time, right, like you have to surrender even deeper, to the point where all you have to do is remember to breathe now. Now, all I want you to do is remember to breathe and then move this arm and then move this leg, or just be in this moment.
Speaker 2:Right, because your brain and your body are going to be physically releasing things, and the best way to calm yourself down is with breath and movement and being grounded and centered to allow it to pass, to allow it to leave your body, it to leave your body, and by the end, they stopped shaking, they stopped crying, they started smiling, they felt better and they started doing things that were more advantageous for them. They started moving towards their goals, they started to not overthink as much, and I again just wanted to share that, because it's important that we understand, as a collective and as a society, that self-sabotage is like the number one thing that keeps everybody from being happy, because we're taught to not be happy, we're taught to suffer, and so if you're carrying energy from you know generations before you, plus all the trauma that you've taken on since you were born. You have to allow yourself the space to heal, to heal it, and know that it takes time, because self-sabotage is tricky. It's very, very tricky and it hides in many, many, many ways in people's lives and you know there was a moment of them being also really frustrated because not too long ago, they were willing to not eat their food because the order was done wrong.
Speaker 2:And you know, we talked about self-sabotage again, self-sabotage again. And it's even in those smaller moments that it's easy to miss things, where some people would say, oh, I'm just going to pick my battles, and it's like, well, that says a lot about how you advocate for yourself. If you think advocating for yourself and getting what you desire is a battle, then yeah, that's not going to end well. It's not going to end well, right. And it says a lot about your mentality, your mindset on how you see taking care of yourself, right. So even that, like that's something to look at while you are doing your journaling work and sectioning out different parts of your life and how you are moving further away from your dreams when you really want to move forward. So I'm going to end this here. I feel like I can talk about self-sabotage forever and ever.
Speaker 2:And just know that you are loved and you are safe and you will 10,000% heal your self-sabotage and with time it gets easier and easier and easier. And know that you know, when you go on a new journey which, like many of you are right now, because it's the energy in astrology you will face new self-sabotaging habits because it's brand new. Right like you would have to experience every single thing in the whole wide world at one time in order to heal all of your self-sabot. So know that it's perfectly normal and that the more we talk about it, the easier it becomes for all of us to be able to support each other on that journey, um. So so just be kind, give yourself grace, give others grace when they're trying to heal as well, um, and just live all up on each other, because we're going to get through this together.
Speaker 2:And I just want to say that if you also want to heal your self-sabotage with a loving community of artists and activists, I want you to come join Manifesting the Muse and you. The wait list is open and we are getting ready to rock and roll in a few weeks and we're really going to build a resistance for what is going on in this world, politically, socially. I know many of you have these like fucking rock star ideas around businesses and have questions and need help releasing energy, connecting with your ancestors, so you can really hit the ground running. This is going to be the space for you to do that in, and you're also going to have space to review social media and things of that sort, and I'm going to be channeling messages for you each month that you are in the program. So it's three months long and you're really going to have a beautiful, beautiful foundation to move forward and manifest things that you are wanting to call forward in your life. Right now. And because of the wait list is open, right now you actually get to join for 444.
Speaker 2:And I tried to make it as accessible as possible just to ensure that you have the resources that you need without causing any more hardship. So that is something that's also been really important to me as I move forward in my business really creating spaces alongside some of the other coaching packages that require a little bit more one-on-one time that more folks can really tap into more often. So that is available to you. The link is in the show notes. So please do sign up for the wait list to lock in that price. After that it'll be $5.55 and then enrollment is just going to keep on going. It's going to be open so you can join whenever you want to, um, and we're just going to start building an amazing community and I'm super, super excited about it. And that is it, my friends. So thank you all again for showing up for yourself and showing up for me. I hope that you found a ton of funky value in this discussion today and I look forward to sharing the rest of the episodes with you.
Speaker 1:And that is a wrap, my friends, and live the life you've always wanted. Join me in my Empowered Living Facebook group for socially conscious healers, witches and spirituals and sign up to get my free, empowered Five Practices to Ascended Happiness Guide. It's helped others expand their consciousness and soar beyond sight, sound and imagination in just one day. It's the catalyst you need to embrace your magic and change the world. Just click the link in the show notes and I'll see you in the group next time.
