2.14 Melissa's Transformation: From Painful Past to Empowered Future

Has your journey of self-discovery ever been sparked by a life-altering event? That's exactly what happened to my guest, Melissa, when her parents divorced. Melissa's story of breaking generational cycles, embracing her true self, and charting a new path for her life is nothing short of inspiring. As a client, she has made remarkable progress, finding a blend of therapy, coaching, and self-care to heal and grow. Melissa's journey is a testament to the power of honoring one's story and the transformative effects of self-awareness.

Do you remember the first Barbie you bought? For Melissa, this was a significant step on the road to self-discovery. Join us as we talk about learning to listen to our inner child, cultivating self-love, and acknowledging the role of our sexuality in our journey of self-discovery. From simple acts of self-care to exploring the liberating power of understanding and expressing our sexual identity, we venture into the depths of our personal narratives. Come along as we share our experiences with the LGBTQI+ community, the healing power of open communication, and the freedom that comes with realizing that life doesn't have to follow a set path.

Imagine being able to make decisions that truly align with your desires, a life where you are in control. That's what we aim to explore in this episode. We delve into the importance of being mindful of our physical, mental, and emotional states and how self-awareness can guide us to make decisions that resonate with us. We discuss the shift away from an all-or-nothing mentality, the importance of honoring our bodies, and the power of our inner monologue. In the end, it's all about recognizing our own power to shape our lives. Let's embark on this journey of personal growth, authenticity, and empowerment together.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to. I'm a Talk About it. I'm Alicia E, empowerment Coach and Ancestral Healer, and I'm here to teach you how to break generational cycles, self-advocate and ascend to happiness without the guilt of wanting a better life for yourself. You don't have to choose the same path as those before you. You can choose a better way your way, because if we can each heal ourselves today, we can heal the world tomorrow together. Hello, hello everyone, welcome back.

Speaker 1: 0:34

Today I have a very special episode. I have invited one of my loveliest clients, melissa, to come join in a podcast episode today, and she is going to be sharing her experience within More Than Worthy and how she really journeyed through generational healing with me for six months, what that looked like for her, what she experienced and how her beautiful life has really manifested before her eyes. So I want to make sure everyone is ready and has open energy to be able to receive this. It is a really special thing to be able to have people on to have this amount of transparency. So, without further ado, I am now going to play for you the recording of my lovely interview with my client, melissa.

Speaker 1: 1:34

So let's just jump right in. I'm going to start with the very first thing on my list. Melissa has been one of my amazing clients in More Than Worthy and I'm so happy that you are here. Thank you so much for joining. I would love for you to just do a brief introduction of who you are and how you found my services and anything else you really feel like adding.

Speaker 2: 2:02

Yes, hi, thank you for having me. My name is Melissa and I currently live in Bend, texas. I actually was born in San Diego, but I lived most of my life in Tijuana in Mexico, and I was there until I was probably 14, and then we moved back to the States. Since I was a US citizen, my parents wanted to take advantage of that and it's very common at the border so I started high school in the US and then just kind of stayed here and just kind of been moving around.

Speaker 2: 2:41

But I'm very Mexican when it comes to my culture, but also it's just more of like I'm very Mexican in the US and I'm very white in Mexico, so it's just like that duality that I've always dealt with. But I am married. I've been with my husband for a total of nine years and our second wedding anniversary is coming up. And, yeah, because of my husband, my husband has two brothers and for that I inherited some sisters in law and Kat is one of them. She's a personal trainer, she's on Instagram as well and she's very active on working out but also doing the work.

Speaker 2: 3:28

When it comes to your mindset, and I think that when I dived into that mindset part of it it's when she started talking about you and I started following you and I just really resonated with your content and at the time I was going through some stuff and I had been like in and out of therapy for about three years and I just felt like I needed something else. I just felt like I am very happy that I got like a quote unquote professional help, but it was like during the pandemic that I also went online and it just kind of misses the point of being like constant going in and I don't know there was something about it, that I was just missing something and I felt like I wasn't getting better and it's very, it's very expensive. I know you have to be patient with it, but it was very expensive and it's a little impatient and just your content really called out to me and I was like fuck it, I'm just gonna do one of her programs and see what happens and like here we are.

Speaker 1: 4:41

Yay, I love it. Also, shout out to Kat For anyone who's listening. You should definitely go follow her. It's Kat Sparation.

Speaker 1: 4:48

She's phenomenal, always elevates everybody in her community and thank you for sharing that like beautiful intro and I'm so glad that we found each other and you kind of touch on just like going through therapy and like needing something else in your life. Like I feel like a lot of people don't always talk about that, but that was something that I also experienced, where that one hour with that person of talking wasn't the energy or like the healing that my like own energy and my soul needed during that time. So I love that you bring that up because, like I think people think that you can't do them at the same time or like you should only go to therapy. But it's perfectly fine to like do your spiritual stuff, go to therapy, like being a coaching program, do all of the things. So thank you for sharing that and if you want to touch a little bit on what you kind of did already, like what you were really going through right before more than worthy that you were like, I really am wanting some help with this.

Speaker 2: 5:59

Yeah, it really started with my parents divorce. They separated in 2018. And then they did really legally get divorced till probably 2020 2021 maybe because of the pandemic, because I know that they were trying to do the court situation virtually. So it was just like a period of time where, at first, I you know, I was 28 at the time when my mom called me and said this is done and you know, we're separating and we're giving each other time, but I don't think that there's coming back from this and it was more of like I support you guys, you need to be happy. Like I've always said that life can feel very long if you're unhappy. So, you know, because people always say like, oh, you know, life is short, life is short and it is, but if you are doing things that you hate and you are miserable, it can be very long. Like there's a lot of old people that are very angry, you know and they're still alive.

Speaker 2: 7:06

So to me it was very like whatever makes you happy, but with time I just learned a lot of things that I wish I did. I didn't need to know Everything. I didn't need to know a lot of stuff that I found out about my parents. That really made me very depressed because my, in my mind, my childhood was a lie. My childhood was, or my entire life was not what I thought it was and it was really like.

Speaker 2: 7:39

I like a slap on the face, like because if you would have talked to me before 2018, I have the perfect parents. I would talk about their love story all the time. I would talk about how they met and how romantic it was and just my parents always Going through hard times together, always like always together, like I always wanted to be with someone that Like like I wanted my parents love story type of situation for myself and Then I realized that it wasn't, that it was all just Really a lie, you know.

Speaker 2: 8:15

So a lot of things came up and I was angry, I was grieving, I like everything changed really for me and I Think that I was at the lowest that I have ever been in my life, where I was just hopeless. I didn't necessarily had a Suicidal thoughts, but I was kind of like if I get in an accident today, who cares?

Speaker 2: 8:41

you know, like I was just kind of like what's life? I mean, why are we even here? You know, I was just having those thoughts and I'd be constructed my religion during the pandemic and I was very religious before the pandemic and I Wish I could tell you what prompted. But I it just kind of happened and once I opened my eyes I couldn't go back. So I was angry at the way I restricted my life from a very young age. It almost felt like I wasted my 20s because I had so many rules and so many. You know, I Guess from the beginning is just like Like not to get too into it. But you know, in my opinion, the, the God of the Bible, is very narcissistic and like the love that he presents is very abusive in my opinion and I feel like I.

Speaker 2: 9:44

That's how I grew up, thinking that certain abuse with love right and so I started deconstructing and knowing that a lot of those things I was kind of programmed from a young age so I had a lot going on yeah and it just Felt like there was no way to start and nowhere to end because there were so many things that were coming at me.

Speaker 2: 10:07

There were so many things that I was changing and I was kind of like I need Spiritual guidance because, you know, at the time I was like I'm an atheist, I don't believe in anything, what's like. You know, I was just very, very angry and you know, my therapist was very that. You know, as some of them sometimes try to Like it's their opinion right, and sometimes I felt like that's not really what I want to hear. You know, I also changed about, like I decided to not have kids Because I'm so honestly, I'm so traumatized that I'm gonna, I'm gonna continue the rest of my life to parent myself right and and there's.

Speaker 2: 10:57

There's things that I've learned of People that that say, like oh, when you have kids, you become a kid again and you do all the things that the kids do and you start, see, do you start to see kids movies again? And it's just so nice and I'm trying to do that without having kids, for my inner child, right. So it's just like I had a lot going on and I didn't know where to start. So I started regular therapy and, honestly, it's just it dragged on for a year or two years and I was like I'm getting nowhere. If anything, I'm angry here. Like there was days where I just wouldn't smile, and so I was.

Speaker 2: 11:39

I was happy to find you because I was like I I'm resonating with your content, I feel like she can help me, like I feel like I can be real with you and you know I just I need somebody kind of to listen and To kind of validate what I am saying. I've noticed that a lot of times when I would go to therapy. It's not that they wouldn't validated, but it would be like, well, you know, like the no kids thing, like maybe you'll change your mind and maybe I will, but I didn't need to to hear that at the moment I so it's. It's tricky because when people say go get help, it takes time and it takes will. You know, I could have been like no fuck therapy, like I can do this on my own you know, so I.

Speaker 1: 12:28

Appreciate you. Yeah, yeah, thank you. No, like I just want to say that I Honor your transparency because it's it's a lot, and I don't think as a society We've done a good job at normalizing, talking about our family dynamics and what we're actually Going through and even having, you know, thoughts that are not wanted, like that sense of hopelessness that is so real within people, but go unnoticed because there's nobody to like talk to you about it. Like that, like I applaud you and I, you know I always support you and I'm glad that you're Sharing that, which was why it was also important to me to share that, because there's so many times in our life when you can lose hope for everything, like where you're questioning life itself, where you don't know if you want to wake up tomorrow, you don't know if you can eat a meal or get out of bed, and you're severely depressed and everything feels hard. Maybe your body like physically aches, and we have to be able to See that in others, but also Create enough safety in the world so people can express that they feel that in themselves. So I just want to say like thank you for Also trusting in cat right, like that's a huge lesson too of like the people we have around us are so important, and you followed your intuition and cat led you to me and you were, like I'm just going to be open in this moment, but it's not.

Speaker 1: 14:09

It's not always easy, and I think we should be honoring the duality within us again, like going back to like therapy and healing, and you know, whatever it may be, and I think like the biggest difference between going to a therapist and seeing a coach or a healer like myself, is that we can focus for a longer period of time on releasing energy and like doing that deep healing that you were, you were looking for and you were also looking for, like you said, that validation, which you know not every therapist is perfect. You know like they're going to carry their own bias and I love that. You said that it does. It takes time, like, and you have to find the right one for you and find the right environment for you that you feel safe in, because, at the end of the day, people are also people, and not saying you should go to someone who, like agrees with everything you're saying, but like it's okay to also go to someone that validates the truth of your story, because it's your story. So I love, love, love that you brought that up and I just like hope everybody's paying attention and listening because, like, hopelessness is a real thing that happens and when we can recognize it in ourselves, we can also help other people recognize it and save a lot of lives in turn.

Speaker 1: 15:34

So now I just want to talk really quickly about the three phases. So anyone who's new here, I have three main phases in more than worthy. It's self awareness, the Ascension Plan and the Ascent to Happiness. So we can chat really quickly about self awareness. You know, this is like my favorite fucking thing to teach everybody about accountability and just like you know, if you can't follow through for yourself, if you can't own up to your own actions, your environment, the people around you, your boundaries, there's no point in moving forward in the program. Like there's really like, until you own your own life, you will never be able to experience your own life to its fullest. So I'd love for you to share like what you really learned about yourself, either within that phase or throughout the program, like what were a couple realizations that you had.

Speaker 2: 16:26

Yeah, I think that I, I recognize the problems right, like I would say that I would say, to keep it to two things was very religious households, very conditional love, and I, you know it took the years to have those two categories clear. But even though I recognize them, I think that I learned that, even though those were imposed on me and I can be like you guys did this and you guys don't love me unconditionally and you this and you that, I think that I learned that I have those traits because I, you know, I was conditioned since I was a little kid, so I had to really look at myself in the mirror and be like how was being super religious affected my life? And it's not like it's not me being religious, it's like what core values of being religious were within me. So things like envy, things like resentment you know a lot, a lot of those weird feelings that religion does to you. I have to be honest with myself and recognize why that happened and I'm like that. I am that way because of that, but I am that way. So how do I get rid of those things?

Speaker 2: 17:48

The very conditional love I can say, oh, I love you unconditionally, but when things get hard. I would be so hard on. Oh, I don't let my. I don't hang out with people that do this or do that or whatever and it's like, if it's not really affecting me, why am I just like? It's almost like a I am loving them, with conditions, right. So how I explored my own relationships and my own life as an adult, I realized that those things were part of me and I didn't want them to be part of me and for a long time I didn't talk about it, because things that nobody wants to say yeah, I'm an envious person, yeah, I gossip, yeah, talk shit about my friends, you know, and I have to. I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want to give it power, but keeping it inside was actually making them more powerful than just releasing them.

Speaker 2: 18:48

Right, like and I have to be more of like there was a situation with a friend or with friends that I love, my friends, and I would go out with them To eat or whatever, and then come back home and, like, talk shit about one of them or two of them with my husband and one day I thought myself and I was like if he was just kind of like, yeah, whatever, like why are you like he doesn't, like he's just kind of like annoyed that I am, you know, doing this and I one day, instead of being like you're not listening to me or you know whatever, like it's really hard work I have to be like why I love these people. Why am I talking shit like why?

Speaker 2: 19:28

you know, and it goes back. You know, like that's what my dad would do. You know, like I, we would go to parties and everybody was friends and then we would come home and my dad would talk shit about his friends all the time, like money was better than them, like, like everything was like a comparison and like a grandiose that the way, and that sort of click. So those treats that I hate about these people were in me. So I have to learn to. Really, how do I take control of my life? Yes, that happened and that's the root of why I do it, but what am I going to do to change it? Because now I'm an adult and I'm in control of my life.

Speaker 1: 20:10

I love that mic drop.

Speaker 2: 20:14

Right.

Speaker 1: 20:15

How big of a fucking realization is that you basically had the realization of, okay, who's running my life and why is it running this way? Like, oh, it's me. I fucking did that, let me, let me do something about it. And it's like such a powerful realization to have because you immediately liberate yourself from all of the bullshit that you've just been creating just because, like, and it didn't even belong to you. And also like the lens of how we in society like to measure ourselves based on the things that we have. Right, and because people who are intersectional or have different cultural backgrounds or present, you know, a different melanated shade than others. Like, there is that extra pressure of having to blend in, of having to do certain things that I've seen, like in my own family, that just spews out whenever it needs to. But it's like that realization that you have of like I don't fucking have to carry that anymore, like I love these people.

Speaker 1: 21:16

Why am I not expressing the love? Like, I think that's such a powerful shift in your energy that everybody really needs to learn, because that is how we start healing our environment and healing all of the pains within ourselves, but also the pain in other people. Right, like, like, what good was it that you had gone home and started talking shit? Right, it hurt you and it probably hurt your husband and so, like it, like nobody was benefiting from any of that. But the minute that you probably stopped he was like, oh, you know, like, and you're like, wow, I actually love them.

Speaker 1: 21:55

You know, like it takes more energy to hold the negative emotions negative with air quotes then like the other lighter emotions, like love and compassion and just that like I always ask myself if I'm feeling weird, or I catch myself like, do I feel so fucking small that I have to tear someone down to feel big? Like you know what I mean. Like I'm, like, am I that small? Like no, I'm not that small. Like what am I doing?

Speaker 1: 22:23

So we really have to be that voice for ourselves and like check ourselves when we can, and I love that you were able to do that within the program and we were able to like ask those questions that would provoke you in a way that would be helpful, rather than like hindering you. So talk to me really quickly about you know the second phase is our Ascension Plan. So this is really you honing in on your desires, working towards them, holding space for yourself. So what was it like going on that journey of, like, improving your health and your spirituality, even your sexuality, your sensuality, like whatever you would like to call it? Yeah, speak a little bit about that.

Speaker 2: 23:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I mean also. It's like the. I think I was so used to living in chaos that it was a heart transition to be at peace, which is what I prefer. But sometimes my body is like we need something to fix and we don't you know, and or we need a problem, so we, so I would create problems to fix right.

Speaker 2: 23:33

And it's that addiction to chaos, or almost the comfort of chaos. So I have to really focus on how do I make my day peaceful and boring sometimes and be okay with that. And I, you know, I meditate every morning whether, even if it's a chaotic day, for whatever reason, I meditate for at least five minutes. It's a non-negotiable for me. I need to breathe and give the attention to my body that it needs. How am I feeling today? Where am I tight? You know where? Like are my?

Speaker 2: 24:16

like bones cracking, like give it a little bit of a stretch, you know, just like giving myself like love in the morning has been really, really, really helpful. And when I am chaotic in my mind, it's very. It just kind of lets me, kind of my energy, just kind of normalizes. I would say Like I try to take it down, like hey, we're okay, you know, nothing is happening. So just having that, that back and forth conversation with myself and just being more being open to journaling has also been like changing for me. But I am because I'm getting to learn like know myself.

Speaker 2: 25:07

I guess I'm a talker. I can talk for hours. So what I would do for a journal is that I would start writing and my thoughts were ahead of what was I writing. So it's chicken scratch, like you know, and I'm just like trying to complete a sentence. And so I found an app on my phone where I can talk. So I just open it and I just talk and it like it logs it on the day and you can go back and hear it if you want to. But I've been doing it and I go on drive or I go to the groceries and I just like open it up and I can start talking. And it's really made a change, because I get sick and tired of talking about the same thing.

Speaker 2: 25:59

You know I'm like wow, you're really talking about this again today, like you know, and it just like it has made more of an impact than writing it down.

Speaker 1: 26:08

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:10

But really getting to know myself, really having those conversations with myself, things that come up randomly, Like when you talked about sexuality, it resonates with me because my sexuality has changed right, Like I know that I'm married and, believe me, I've married to a straight white guy, but I've been, I've done some of the talking of like recognizing things in me that I for when I was like having conversations of when I was a little kid or when I was in high school about problems that I would have with girlfriendship. So I would always be like I hate having girlfriends because they're so dramatic.

Speaker 2: 26:59

I get along with the guys better right, and which watching the Barbie movie was very healing for me because I had a very complicated relationship with Barbies, because there were two girly for me that I was kind of guys, you know.

Speaker 2: 27:20

So I ran to the store and bought myself a Barbie. Good, so I do things for me, but I just little things like that, you know, like really doing things for my inner child, like that is my child. Right now I don't have an actual baby, like you know, that's my child that I'm taking care of because she needs a lot. And so like going back to high school when I would have these complicated relationships with women or envy in me seeing somebody wearing a, really like, somebody looking really good on a mouse fit or their hair or wow their skin or something, and recognizing that it wasn't envy, I had a crush on them you know, Like I think that I've always been open in that sense, but because I was so religious, that door never opened.

Speaker 2: 28:15

And you know, there is a part of me that I'm like well, you know, I've never dated a woman, I've never anything. But I think, the more I learned about myself and about others, I try to hang out with people from the LGBT community because I learned so much from them. There's so much freedom in how they live their lives. It can be complicated, but at the same time I find it not cookie cutter, Like it's very, it's wild, it's the wild west, and I love it because it gives you so many options and it doesn't have to look one way and learning about I'm gonna have a hard time saying, but, Paula Pauline, when you have more than one partner when you just call me yeah, so and just learning that and how, there's like ethics behind it and they.

Speaker 2: 29:12

You know the focus is on, you know, the communication and there's no ownership of one another, and I just find it so interesting and not saying that it's for me or anything but at the same time it's kind of like well, I resonated with it and I understand it completely, like maybe if I would have been not religious and like more rebellious or more open, younger, you know life can be anything you want and we've got so many rules for ourselves.

Speaker 2: 29:47

So, yeah, just healing that part of me, like not being embarrassed if I'm too girly or, you know, too gossipy or too loud, or if a guy says like oh, I hate girls, but you're fine, you're part of the guy group, like that really doesn't do anything for me anymore, like it used to right, like I really don't give a fuck if you like me or not, because I like me, you know.

Speaker 2: 30:10

So I just been really, really trying to have that relationship with myself and conversations with myself through that up and honestly just having that conversation, because it's also even though I do have one, maybe two people that I can talk to and I know they won't judge me, they have their own problems, right, and I've been learning to. If I just need to let it out, why do I need to go get coffee with a friend. Why do I need to go get wine with a friend? I can just open my app and have a conversation with me, and if I need to let something out that is negative, I leave it on my phone and I'm on the person in front of me, right? So that kind of balance.

Speaker 1: 30:52

Oh my God, I fucking love that. Just like, why do I need to go to have coffee?

Speaker 1: 30:56

I'm gonna have a conversation with me Like you know I feel like that needs to be a slogan somewhere, but it's so fucking true and, like you know, I remember you on the journey and like witnessing that evolution and like how important it was that we created that sense of safety for you to be able to talk about it so you can explore within your own body, and like how interesting it was which people don't think about how connected our body and how we release things is to food right, like we were healing everything in tandem, like it wasn't. Like you know, we picked one day for sexuality and we picked another day for, like your, like it was all. Like we're addressing how you eat, when you eat, like what your cycle is like, like who are you around, how are you loving yourself? Are you free to express yourself? And then reading even into what your cycle was like, or like what you ate, so we could figure that out, so you can be more fluid and have that freedom that you're really talking about within you know, the LGBTQI plus community.

Speaker 1: 32:07

That is such a beautiful thing, because the world can be really rigid sometimes, like we're taught about. You know you stay in your lane, especially for myself. I went to all girls Catholic schools. So having that journey to finding yourself and realizing like, oh my God, these are fucking real feelings. You know, you're kind of, you have that moment and you're like nobody told me, you know, and then you can accept it about yourself. But it's such a wholesome journey that you went through and I'm so glad that you brought that up because, like when we can create the safety especially like we did in more than worthy and you had your meditations and you had your yoga and we talked often and like I was teaching you new concepts you then could implement it in a prolific way, like it just spread out into every area of your life. That made it easier for you to be like, oh, fuck, yeah. Like I've got like love for them, like love for myself, like love for everybody, like you just start exploding from this place of love that's been locked away for so long in a little container that people are like don't open that you know. So, so, so beautiful. I'm so happy that you shared that.

Speaker 1: 33:26

And just really quickly, I wanna talk about you like embodying who you are now, like the last part of more than worthy, because we start to see the evolution in the beginning. You're really taking ownership, you're taking a long look at yourself and an unbiased look at yourself. And then you're beginning to learn and educate yourself on who you are and where your trauma is coming from and what you're wanting for yourself. And then, at the end of the journey, it's really about okay, I've learned these tools, I'm gonna implement them in every single possible way that I can because I feel confident enough to do it. Like, what was that journey like for you of embodying, like who you were really wanting to be? I think you said you had. I mean, you're not retired right now, old and on a beach, but like you know, like it's coming. I know it's coming, but like what was that embodiment journey for you? Like what was it like? Or like what feelings came up for you?

Speaker 2: 34:26

Yeah, I think that it's the reason why I keep bringing it up, that I'm learning myself is because I'm learning the new me right, and for a long time I was that battle between the old me and the new me and it still happens, but less frequently, and it's been okay with being completely different and learning what this new, different is bringing me and having those battles with myself about thoughts that would come up or things that I still do unconsciously and just questioning it Like, why? Like, sometimes there's a good reason why, you know, and I would do it, but there's. I just I question everything like on myself now and I try to live from a place of peace and love and compassion, and if it's not rooted in that, then I try to modify it. And it comes up all the time, like I go to the gym all the time and I see beautiful women with just killing it at the gym and then that thing starts to come up unconsciously of like oh, I wish I looked like her. Oh, my God, like I wish I was that tone or I wish this or I wish that, and I just rewired with like well, so we're not that person anymore. She looks fucking hot and she like I'm rooting for her, you know, like she's lifting and I'm like I don't even care if I'm staring a little bit, I'm giving her positive energy. I'm like you're a beast, you're incredible, like you don't have to like for me specifically, like I was.

Speaker 2: 36:18

I'm very like if somebody else has something, I have to have it. I have to. Oh, those plants are beautiful in that house. I need to have plants. I need to, and sometimes I don't question whether I really want them or why can't, I just appreciate that that space looks pretty.

Speaker 2: 36:33

You know, like things like that is what I've been dealing with recently. But I'm able to recognize it and I'm open to make those changes because, honestly, I dealt with those things in my mind unconsciously and I feel like my body, like I feel it in my body. I feel it sometimes with I'm tight on my head. I have to do a lot of stretching. I honestly think it's because of everything I internalize. So I am very gentle with my body and I try not to store anything unnecessary for my body to carry. So I'm very vocal and very honest about things that go through my mind, because I kept in quiet for so long and so I'm just careful, like I said, like I'm careful of some things, like of what I share with other people, because I also don't want to put that negativity on others. It's more of that inner battle, that inner monologue that I have and some of my recordings on my phone.

Speaker 1: 37:37

Yeah, I love that. It's so amazing, like, and I think that there's also a big misconception with people. That embodiment means that you are absolutely perfect and you are in that stage of your life and like nothing's gonna change and you just go forward. And it's the opposite. It's the opposite of that right Like. Life is always changing and you're saying it without saying it, but it's like your embodiment is reflective of you knowing what to do now, or being able to figure out the path to knowing what to do in an easier way for yourself. Like, instead of looking at situations around you and just taking pieces here and there, you're like wait, like, what am I actually picking up from this situation and what do I actually want for myself? It's using that like deep discernment within you to be able to embody who you are, rather than trying to embody someone else.

Speaker 1: 38:35

And I think that's really, really important, because we're constantly evolving, we're constantly changing and we have to learn to not idealize people who look perfect all of the time, because nobody is fucking perfect. Like, and we can do what you were saying. You know, like, cheer each other on, like, say like fuck yeah, but also like fuck yeah to yourself, and be like look, I'm just as powerful, I'm just as beautiful, I like deserve to eat, I deserve to move, but I deserve to sleep and I deserve, you know, anything that I'm desiring in this world. And that is when you really shift into that, that energy of embodiment, where you're like this is my life, this is what I want and this is how I navigate, and you're like I'm not harming other people and we're good, right, like I love how you explain that, so I would love. We have two more questions really quickly that I wanna ask you. So the first one is what was, like your biggest takeaway in more than worthy yeah, on your journey?

Speaker 2: 39:45

Yeah, I mean honestly, the biggest takeaway is that I am in control. And it sucks sometimes because you start to recognize that it's less about others and more about yourself and that can be a little overwhelming. There's things that resurface here and there because I crossed my own boundary right and I can't be mad at the other person, I have to be mad at myself because I violated my boundaries. So it's that self-awareness that it's truly what I took away, like I cannot live my life without the awareness anymore, and it has trickled down to my eating habits. I used to binge eat and I'm not saying that it's completely gone, but I do have those conversations with myself of like, well, you know why are you? Like? Are you really hungry? Right, eating with intention, being able to like really chew I know it sounds weird, but chew on your food and I favor it Like each and like every spoonful. Sometimes, like if I'm too hungry, where you get that desperate like just keep eating. It's like I try to pause, I try to chew slowly and be like this is super delicious and then like, really slow it down because I know that I will feel better afterwards. So it's, I quit drinking recently just because it just didn't align with myself anymore.

Speaker 2: 41:24

I didn't like who I become when I was drunk, and then I couldn't really find a medium of like well, I'm just not going to get drunk, and it's like. Well, that doesn't happen when I start drinking sometimes. So, and I'm not completely sober, you know, I do, I do like my MJ and I do, I do have one. I do love wine, so I allow myself to have one glass of wine a month.

Speaker 2: 41:52

And honestly, sometimes I don't even need it. Like, for the month of August I didn't really drink. So last night I had dinner out, I took myself on a date and I had a glass of wine. I was like, oh, I didn't have it this month and there's months that I skip it. You know completely. But I'm just more of like also learning that labels are not something that I thrive on.

Speaker 1: 42:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 42:16

And I'm like I don't want to categorize myself as sober. I live a vegan lifestyle but it is not perfect, so I don't like to call myself vegan because just labels really trigger me. So that was also a very big takeaway of like all or nothing mentality and it comes from a very religious upbringing and like conditional love, right, like I want to live my life in gray because for the like for 30 years I lived in black and white. So I'm learning to kind of thrive a little bit in that gray area and just modify my life and like just really be obsessed with my life and it doesn't have to be a label Like oh, I live a vegan lifestyle, you should, I live a sober lifestyle, you should too. It's more of like it's working right now for me and I'm just kind of moving, I'm just water.

Speaker 1: 43:16

I love that You're living an intentional life, like one that you curated for yourself, and you know when we were going over that intentional eating and going slow, like you have no idea. Well, you know, but, like for other people, how much our energy shows up in everything we do, including our eating. You know what I mean. We're like I really just need to do this and we keep feeding into it and feeding into ourselves in a way that's like harmful to us. Not I mean, you can eat whatever you want or however much you want, but it's it's the energy behind how we're doing it. And so, like to shift into that energy of I'm going to be intentional with everything, I'm going to take this one bite and I'm going to enjoy it.

Speaker 1: 44:00

Like that is also a huge part of our UVA, that and just that.

Speaker 1: 44:05

Like it's like one of the most simplest things you can do, but one of the most calming things you can do when you're eating.

Speaker 1: 44:10

And to like open up your senses, because it's also very metaphorical and energetic towards like I'm going to open up my energy in general to experiencing life in a completely different way, and I'm so happy that that was something that also resonated with you and stuck with you and you know you keep in your back pocket because it's a really beautiful practice and everybody is so different and what sticks with you may not stick with somebody else, and I think that's the beauty of more than worthy, because there isn't just one path for you to follow, like we get to know you and then we go with that, like you don't have to do what I do, you don't have to do what I say. It's more so like it's a collaboration and we're working with each other to find the energy that you want for yourself and the life that you want for yourself. So that was really beautiful, thank you. So we have one more question and then we are going to head out. So just really quickly, for anyone who's thinking about joining, what would you say to them?

Speaker 2: 45:18

Be ready to do the work. It's work. It's so much work that this is recent, so I haven't really scheduled it for myself. But I have thought about scheduling once a month, maybe twice a month, a bucket day of not working, of not healing, of not fucking doing anything, not questioning why I'm eating a full bag of chips, you know, like just having a day of complete rest, sometimes in nature, because it is constant work, which is why a lot of people are not in Florida. It is a lot of work, like. Sometimes I wish I was just like dumb and ignorant and unaware, you know.

Speaker 2: 46:04

Like maybe that's the answer, but I can't shut it off now. So it's just very like be ready to do the work. It is worth it. I love my life now. I really do.

Speaker 2: 46:15

I have those moments sometimes, but I know how to get back to a healthy place. I know the things that I need to do and when I slack on some areas and the sadness comes, I'm like, well, you know you didn't do that, you know. So be ready to hold yourself accountable. You know Alisa is you're a great, great, amazing guide. But you know, be like it's the work is personal. You need to be a fucking adult and hold yourself accountable. Alisa is going to help you, like guide you. She guided me through so much. There was even moments where I was crying and just texting you. You're like we need to hop on a call right now and I appreciate that. So so much. She's an amazing guide, but the work is yours. You know she's not going to be like did you do your homework from last week? I mean, if you didn't do it yourself, stop it, stop it yourself. So just just be ready and to be your own boss, like you really have to hold yourself accountable.

Speaker 1: 47:21

That's really what I would say, yes, I fucking love that and it's so true. I mean, I'm an accountability coach as well. So like it's one of the pre qualifications and the reason why I ask you are you ready to take this journey? Like we're going to do it together, but you got to be ready and thank you just for having all of this transparency. And I think what I also want to share is just that, like this is also a connection that I know we're going to continue to grow down the road. So this isn't just you come into the program and you leave.

Speaker 1: 47:56

Like I consider everyone in the program like a part of my community. I'm a part of your community and we are here uplifting each other and collaborating through our whole life Definitely laughing, crying, yelling, like all sorts of things and it's completely natural and I appreciate you just saying really sweet things about me being a guide, because that is definitely what I love to do and what I'm here to do to help people really ascend to the world. And I'm really happy that you are here to help people really ascend to who they want to be and so that we can create the change we want to see. So that is all my questions that I have for you. It has been such a pleasure having you on and I'm so happy that you and I are connected and a part of each other's lives and I know we're just going to keep growing and growing and growing and cheering each other on like fuck yeah. Thank you so much, melissa, I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 48:57

Yeah, no problem. I do want to say that you know, I I've never met you in person, but I know that when I probably going to hug you for a full minute, but I, you know it's incredible. It's incredible what, honestly, with technology can do. I am so appreciative that we you know people might be weirded out that it's online, that you know you might lose that connection, but I felt connected with you right away and we have cried on camera together.

Speaker 2: 49:26

I'm like I'm going a little faster, I'll be right back, and so I feel super connected to you and just the change you've made, like you completely changed my life. So I will forever be grateful. You will always hold a spot in my heart and, yeah, I can't wait to meet you in person. So, yeah, for anybody that is like thinking of like just just fucking do it, do it for yourself, you deserve it. The work, the work is worth it. It really is, and there's no better person than you.

Speaker 1: 49:57

Oh no, I'm going to go cry. I'm going to wait till you get off.

Speaker 2: 50:02

You really were the first person that made me feel seen and validated, so I really do appreciate that.

Speaker 1: 50:10

Let's work together forever. Thank you so much. You have such a big, big heart, and everyone out there if you are listening you are so welcome to take this journey. I will welcome you with open arms, with love and support, and know that you are absolutely safe here. So that is it from me. Thank you all for showing up today, showing up for Melissa as well, showing up for this community and helping us build a better future, to create the change that we really want to see. And that's it, thanks everyone. Hey, if you're ready to ascend to happiness and live the life you've always wanted, join me in my empowered living Facebook group for socially conscious healers, witches and spirituals and sign up to get my free, empowered five practices to Ascended Happiness Guide. It's helped others expand their consciousness and soar beyond sight, sound and imagination in just one day. It's the catalyst you need to embrace your magic and change the world. Just click the link in the show notes and I'll see you in the group next time.