2.13 Disrupting the Norm, A Dive into the Empowered Femme Lifestyle

Empowerment is a journey, not a destination. Would you like to break free from societal norms and expectations that dictate how you should live your life? As an empowerment coach and ancestral healer, I guide you through the labyrinth of self-discovery and self-expression, illuminating the negative impacts of gatekeeping and the importance of sharing, growing, and evolving. Listen in as we discuss how you can empower yourself to embrace authenticity and live a life that is true to your energy. 

Incredible things happen when we come together. How can we harness the power of community, activism, and collective action to elevate the world's vibration? This episode peels back layers of societal conditioning, encouraging Femme presenting people to reclaim their power and step into their truth. We explore the pitfalls of operating from fear, the importance of self-reflection, and the transformative power of owning your journey. It's about time we embodied the Empowered Femme Lifestyle. Are you ready to join the movement?

Transcript

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 0:00

Welcome to. I'm a Talk About it. I'm Alisha E, Empowerment Coach and Ancestral Healer, and I'm here to teach you how to break generational cycles, self-advocate and ascend to happiness without the guilt of wanting a better life for yourself. You don't have to choose the same path as those before you. You can choose a better way your way, because if we can each heal ourselves today, we can heal the world tomorrow together. Hi everyone, welcome back.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 0:34

I am so excited to share this episode with you because we are talking about one of my favorite topics. Okay, all the topics are my favorite, but this is one of my favorites as well. So this episode is called Empowered Femme Lifestyle, and I want to talk about this because I feel like, even though people don't articulate it in that exact phrase like I do, it's the commonality that I see amongst my clients, amongst people who sign up for my workshops and amongst just like people popping up at my shows and like coming to buy products, that they really want to empower themselves and lead a certain lifestyle that is authentic to who they are and authentic to their energy, and that resonates with them, rather than living a life that they're supposed to be living or that they've been taught to live right. So I'm super excited to talk about this and I'm just going to kick it off, and I do have froggy voice still, because I'm recording a lot of these back to back, because, again, I am in my inspired energy and so I'm just pumping them out like I'm sharing all my thoughts and the energies here and I'm loving it, and so I'm just going to share as much as I can and share resources. So, excuse me. So why is it important to lead an empowered Femme lifestyle, or really to talk about the empowered Femme lifestyle? To me, it's super important to talk about, like we need to talk about it. And even if you don't identify as a Femme per se and let's say, you know, maybe you identify as non binary, but you present as Femme however you see yourself, if this resonates with you, then this is for you.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 2:20

We have been taught Femme presenting people, to not empower ourselves. We've actually been taught to disempower ourselves, to not be in our energy, to not make decisions for ourselves, to not show up for others that align with the values that we actually want. So we're taught to show up for others who are the opposite of us, who we have to try. And is it placate? I don't know why that? Yeah, I think that's right. We are meant to show up for others who are not necessarily of the same vibration, just because, right, like Femme, presenting people are known as, like the nurturers, people who care for others, and so we're taught to not make waves, we're taught to quiet ourselves, we're taught to just have babies and shut up and stay in our own lane, like I'm just gonna fucking put it that way because it's true, we were never taught that it was okay to express ourselves unless you had a parent that was really empowered or a little bit more progressive in their way of thinking and were like liberated.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 3:29

That is not something that is constantly shared, because also there's like the dynamic in a lot of cultures where, even if you want to be empowered, the culture itself doesn't allow you to, and so maybe it's fun and all that you come from a female family, but then the culture that you're a part of doesn't value females, and so there's like the collision of that. So you have like that intersectionality of okay, I, not only am I a female in society doesn't value my opinions, but also I'm of a certain culture, and this culture doesn't value my opinions, and so then, anywhere you go, you're like, okay, nobody values my opinions, and so, in order to survive or take care of yourself, we learn to not draw attention, right? Because the minute that you become someone who's really vocal, what do people do? Like anybody, even other females like you start tearing them down. Like if someone's really vocal, people start to feel threatened, especially if they are female. Then they're like, oh, they're too rough around the edges, right, it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 4:35

And we go over this in my claiming accountability. In my one on one program, I teach them about the take charge and the take care right, like what happens when those intersect and how we actually treat each other, even if we want to support other women or other femmes. But that intersectionality is so hard for us to cope with when we see it in other people that we tend to destroy it, right. And so it's important to be able to talk about this openly, because we we need powerful and empowered femme people right now to help elevate the vibration of the world, the vibration of the consciousness, right, it's very obvious that A lot of people are functioning in a flow that is not from empowerment and it's from scarcity, it's from hate, it's from anger, it's from all of the emotions that tend to block your softer side or your nurturing side.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 5:32

You're more tapped inside and I just want to say to like, if I ever referenced like softer or femme or divine femme or anything like that, it's. It's not like Gender-based like, it's just like we have. We articulate our language in that way to try to explain it. But it's all energy right. So everybody has dualities within them. They have I'm doing air quotes the divine femme, the diet, divine masculine right. That is how we balance life, yin and yang, dark and light, and so that Divine feminine energy, or the other part of your divine energy, is the part that allows you to flow. It's more watery, it's more earthy, it's more Expansive versus fast and fiery right like it slows down.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 6:21

It's intentional, it's thought through, and that's also why a lot of empowered femmes do really well in management roles, because they tend to be a little bit More empathetic. They've experienced more intersectionality, so they have a better understanding of what people are going through, and they've had to, because they've been conditioned to pay more attention to how they show up in the world to take care of themselves, and so it's important that we continue to have these conversations openly About empowering each other rather than tearing each other down during these crucial, pivotal moments in History. Right Like there's a lot of global disasters going on there's riots, there's people dying, there's, you know, people losing their jobs, there's illnesses and we need to be able to activate each other and be there for each other on a deeper level, on a on a level of Unconditional love versus conditional love, so that we can get out of this Stagnancy of the depression and of the pain. So, in order to do that, we have to see within each other their empowered femmes. Right, that lives in all of us, but sometimes it will hide itself or we hide it within our shadow. So it's important that we also begin to see each other fully and Get to know each other on a deeper level.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 7:48

Not just hey, do you want to grab a drink, but like hey, are you okay? Like hey, do you need anything? Like saying I'm here for you? Right, like these little simple phrases that can literally catalyze Everything in your life. And I talk about it on my other podcast episode. But when I was debating on getting a divorce, my sister saw me. She saw me, she saw through me and she had said are you okay? And then she was like you know, it's okay to change your mind.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 8:24

Like that gentle permission of even just saying it's okay you to Do what's best for you is also how we empower other people. But if we sit there during crucial times and we're like, oh yeah, that really sucks, or like this is what happens in my life, and we're not acknowledging that window of Openness and finding tenderness within ourselves, like it can cause a lot of harm Not saying that you always have to do that, but like how can we be more intentional and unconditional about the love that we show for each other? Right, so that we can begin to grow, we can heal and we can really love ourselves and love other people and love this world and change the world? And I also want to talk about like what it truly means to be an empowered femme, because I think there's a lot of Information out there that's just crap. Like, to be honest, I don't enjoy it.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 9:20

I think a lot of the empowered femme information that's out there is based off of very patriarchal views of femininity and Just that power is the only way to be empowered and it's not true like your power can lie in your, your ideas or views of rest, the fact that you take care of yourself, or the fact that you cry, or the fact that you Do all of these other things that make you you. That is empowerment. It's not necessarily having the best fucking schedule or the best car or like always speaking up for yourself, like it's a balance and it's really living in your authenticity, right, it's. It's ethically and I say this very loudly into the mic, because this is not talked about in most fucking books it's ethically living by your own rules. So ethically, meaning you do not cause harm to anybody else and you put that in the forefront of your mind, because I think that sometimes, when people say that they're empowered, they go around shitting on other people's lives rather than being like I'm empowered.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 10:33

Let's talk about being empowered, and I want to do it from a way that is loving. I'm not gonna put anybody else down, I'm gonna elevate them and I'm gonna love them and vice versa, right. So it's being really ethical with how you live by your own rules that you've set for yourself, that that create the happiness that you are wanting in your life, and, again, it is about elevating others, like the empowered from lifestyle. If you are not elevating others voices, if you're not sharing people's posts, if you are Not donating when causes are being presented, if you are not out there speaking up against crimes, like You're not elevating other people's voices and to me, that's not really living an empowered lifestyle. Because, like, empowerment is when we can also take the time to share other people's voices, and I see this sometimes even in small businesses. We're like some people don't want to even share each other's posts because they're like other take from my business. And it's like do you mistrust yourself so much that you you can't make enough money or you can't share in the abundance that you have With someone else and help elevate them and help elevate everybody else? Because if we start sharing information, because we are more visible than other, people will share as well and they'll feel more comfortable about sharing.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 11:46

So it's like really paying attention to how you can show up for other people, even if you have a platform, like bringing people on your podcast, bringing people into your life, bringing people to your parties or bringing people into your meetings at work, like if you work with another department. I used to do this all the fucking time because I was like I'm not gonna go to this meeting and Take notes and then speak for that person. I'm like let's bring them in, because they are the, the powerhouse, the knowledge, and I want to elevate them and we need to bridge communication. Right, like, bring other people into your conversations, even if their title which is stupid, their title Doesn't have as much weight behind it. Like I would do that all the time. I'm like bringing the fucking coordinators, because the coordinators are the ones on the ground doing all the fucking work. Bring in the retailers, bring in the salespeople, bring, bring in the people fucking buying the shoes. Right, like that was the world I was in. I was like I don't want to hear from you, director. I don't want to hear from you. You're too far detached, you don't do the work.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 12:49

Okay, like I really want you to think about how you are elevating other people's voices that are so often not being heard. And Also, like, with that comes supporting people around you and supporting your environment. Right, like, even though I'm gonna get really spiritual for a second, okay, here we go, even though, let's say, the earth can't really talk, but it'll sure the fuck show up when it needs to, how can we elevate the needs of the earth and our environment so that others can also help take care of it? Right, how can we be stewards excuse me, oh whoa stewards of the land and protect the future of this world? Right, like that is also elevating the voice of the earth, or the energy of the earth, so that we can have a better future, so that it can have a better future. Right, and also just helping to educate others.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 13:52

Right, if you are someone who works in sustainability and you're really close with the earth and even for myself, I have product line, I've been in manufacturing so I invite you to really share your knowledge as much as you can, especially if you're on social media and again I'm gonna touch back to business, because I know a lot of you have businesses that, like, if you are so concerned about sharing information on your social platform because you're scared you won't make money, like, I need you to come talk to me because we cannot gatekeep, like that which I'm gonna talk about in a second. But you are a wealth of ideas and so it's important that we all begin to share all of the knowledge that we have, all of it, which is why I also really like TikTok, because I mean you can go down the rabbit hole on TikTok, but like people are sharing all of their knowledge. That's why it's so beautiful. Like it's such a beautiful place, like you can literally go on there and learn a whole fucking bunch about anything you want. Because people are like you know what I'm just gonna share? I'm just gonna share. Look at this cool thing I found right. And then you're like, wow, that blows my mind. So get out there and like educate people.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 15:00

This is a part of the empowered FEM lifestyle. Like taking it upon yourself and sharing gifts so that we can elevate others. It all goes back to elevating others. And just to go into not gatekeeping like gatekeeping is when you really withhold information from people and you cause them harm. Like and I always think about my business.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 15:21

Like would I if, like I kind of check myself. Like I would love to give my courses and everything away for free. Like that is my goal one day, to be able to do that. I would love to have a nonprofit. I would love to give it all away, because I do not like the idea of having to charge for it Right now. I charge for it because I have to be able to sustain myself and pay my bills and like take care of my dog and like still have a balanced lifestyle where I can go to the doctor or go to the dentist when I need to. And so my next goal right now is to figure out how I can get to a point where I don't have to charge for anything. I don't want to, because I think that a lot of the resources that I have are really powerful and I wanna share them with everybody, but I also have to be careful at the same time to not put myself out on the street because we live in a capitalist society. But like it's really owning up to even your own truth and helping other people out, right. Like that is why I spend time on my social media platform sharing fundraisers and sharing things and telling people to go support other events, because it's a collective move, it's a collective growth right.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 16:42

It's not about withholding information from other people so they don't get to enjoy it. Like that's a really shitty thing to do, and so I invite you to really think about if you're doing that. If you do that all the time, like what good is it? You know, and I get that. Like sometimes people are like you know, I don't wanna share my recipes or my products yet because I don't want someone to steal them. And it's like you know what, at the end of the day, no one can make fucking product like you make product and no one's gonna be able to replicate it the same way. And I know that shit gets copied. But it's like thank you so much for copying it If it means you're gonna spread it and it's gonna get the message out there and I am more than fucking flattered.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 17:25

But it's like you can't operate from fear and do not be creating products from fear. Like your energy is all up in that. Don't pass that along to other people. I'm just putting that in there. But it's like even being mindful about that, like are you keeping things for yourself instead of just sharing it? And like trusting that all is going to work out, because it might actually all work out and who knows, the minute you share it, you might make hell of money that's gonna help protect your brand. So it's like we have to be able to empower ourselves and surround ourselves with the right people so we can create the change that we wanna see.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 18:06

And two last parts about the empowered femme lifestyle is that, like you, you really got to be open to evolving, like the empowered femme lifestyle is not about you Creating stagnancy in your life and you being set in your ways. That's not empowerment, that's just stagnancy. It's about being open to growth, being open to others ideas, even if you don't agree with them, and, like being okay with finding a middle ground, like can you actually find a fucking middle ground for yourself? And I Would always keep this in mind when I would have to go into really high up conversations with VPs and CEOs. And you know, I'm advocating for money and I'm advocating for jobs and I'm advocating for equal pay.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 18:51

And I'm sitting there like how can I bring us all together in the middle right, like and? And how can I really make sure that they feel heard too? Because most of the time when people are resistant to something, they don't feel heard, they feel attacked, they feel some sort of way. So how can I embody the power and body the power empowered? Wow, how can I embody the powered femme? And? And hold on, I need to drink a water, sorry, okay, so how can I embodied? Oh my gosh, y'all, how can I embody the empowered femme and Bring us closer together and make sure that all Parties feel seen and feel heard so we can create the change. Because that is my biggest goal, right? And it's not about subjecting myself to horrible energy. It's about I'm here to create the change, and so I'm here to mitigate risk and I'm here to create opportunity, right?

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 19:55

So being open to evolving and like perhaps going into spaces that you've never gone into before, and holding a new energy, and being open to feedback, right, like it's the reason why I always send surveys and feedback for everything I do in my business, because I want to know If I am on the mark and I want to know if they feel safe. If I am not asking questions About my own behavior, what the fuck am I doing? Like, what am I doing? That is not growth. I invite you to have people Like tell you a little bit about you right, invite it into your life.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 20:32

Like even when I worked in corporate world, every meeting that I have where it would be a touch base with my boss, I would be like at the end, like do you have any feedback for me? Let me know. I'll write it down so I have something to work for. Like to work on, just in case. Like not that I needed to work on anything, but I would always open it. I would open the floor and Receive feedback. And also I did this Side note because when reviews came, if they said that I wasn't more than perfect, that I would be like, I asked you 162 times If you had any feedback for me and you said no and I would document it, I would straight up, fucking document it.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 21:15

So understand that there is a Lot of intersectional that comes with being an empowered fam, helping yourself out, helping others out and Really finding a path forward that's gonna help everyone ascend right, like this truly is, in a sense, the basics, or like the beginning of activism, which I know a lot of you are interested in. That's why you're on my page, like that's why you gravitate towards me, because you believe in a better world, you believe in helping each other out, you believe in activating and Creating change and being unconditional with a love and abundance and happiness that you want to share with people. So it's super, super important that we take all of these into account when we are trying to journey down our life or towards our purpose of an empowered Femme lifestyle, and I think I'm gonna also create a separate podcast for the basics of activism, and then maybe a part two on this, because I really want to talk about community and collectiveness because, excuse me, it's a huge part of the empowered Femme lifestyle which often goes overlooked all the time. So that is it from me, my friends. I just highly invite you to again pull out your journal, sit outside, write down what an empowered femme lifestyle looks like to you, what it feels like to you. How can you better align with it today and how can you really embody the energy right Like, instead of putting your empowered femme lifestyle in the future, how can you say I am an empowered femme and this is how I live, right Like, claiming it for yourself right now, so that you can better integrate it into your life, rather than putting it at arm's length and not being able to attain it, which is also something we like to do. But that's another episode as well. So that is it from me, my friends.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 23:16

Again, I just wanna remind everybody that Fly With Me sessions are open and available. They are $222. So if you wanna begin your journey to the empowered femme lifestyle, I highly fucking recommend it. They're a baller. We basically start out getting to know each other. I ask you some questions, I figure out where you're at on your journey. I give you some coaching and some feedback. I lead you through a meditation Sometimes it changes depending on what I feel like Oops you need and then we unpack that experience because it is a meditative quest. It's a meditation, but it's a quest, and so it's very visual, it's very powerful, it's very igniting, it's very aligning, and you usually get a lot of information from that, and then afterwards we chit chat about it Again.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 24:06

You get some more coaching and we end with a Soul Tarot reading which, prior to the call, I usually call in your guides and ancestors to help with this session, which is also why it's very powerful as well. So it's not just my energy, it's their energy helping to ascend you, helping to clear energy out, helping to replace energy and helping to really send you divine messages that I will then share with you. So it is a really beautiful experience. It's 60 minutes and they are jam-packed full of information. If you wanna join, the link is in the description. Just make sure you are in a quiet place so you can lie down, you can take some notes, you can really integrate into the session and fully receive the abundance that is coming to you, because they are very fucking abundant. So, yeah, be sure to sign up for those. They are a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful experience.

Alisha Eisler (Ngozi Okachi, She/Her): 24:59

Again, I have a new website up, so go check it out. You can check out some of the testimonials as well, from I think it's like 12 or 13 people who have also had sessions, who experienced the magic and experienced the ascension and the support. So it's really, really awesome. But that is it from me, my friends, I cannot wait to speak to you all soon. Thank you so much for being with me here in this space. Thank you for showing up for yourself and showing up for me, and that is a wrap. Hey, if you're ready to ascend to happiness and live the life you've always wanted, join me in my empowered living Facebook group for socially conscious healers, witches and spirituals and sign up to get my free, empowered five practices to Ascended Happiness Guide. It's helped others expand their consciousness and soar beyond sight, sound and imagination in just one day. It's the catalyst you need to embrace your magic and change the world. Just click the link in the show notes and I'll see you in the group next time. Thanks fol x.